This month Justin lost 11 pounds and did a fantastic job. He has now lost more than 340 pounds which puts us at having lost a combined more than 520 pounds in 1.5 years! I, however, didn’t top the charts like I did last month (11 pounds I think it was). You might remember that I posted a blog about self-image through weight loss a week or two ago. I was really struggling with how I perceived myself then and, to be honest, still am. It is still difficult to accept that I can wear a size 8 or 10 in most things. No matter how many times I look in the mirror, I can’t seem to see what everyone else does. I am not saying that I am ugly, but I see fat around my face and other areas and think I have small breasts (even though they’re still a D cup). Since I did not lose what I wanted, I feel that much further away from my end goal. Therefore, I perceive myself as so much bigger, and I start to worry that everyone else sees me that way too. People who have been severely overweight often struggle with body distortion issues later on, and it can take some time, as well as positive support from others, to truly see what they look like. Luckily, I have Justin by my side who loved me and told me I was beautiful before any of this even began!
Although I am still struggling with my self-esteem right now, I am focused and ready to move forward and start losing weight again. The important thing is to not let my feelings allow me to go back to old habits. No matter what it takes, I refuse to ever go back to my old weight and lifestyle. I always tell myself that tomorrow is a new day, and it is never too late. I may not have lost what I wanted this month, but I can still wear a size 8 or 10 (depending on the brand). I used to wear a 48 ” bra, and I can now fit into a 32 or 34″. Oddly enough, they’re almost as hard to find as the 48″. That is something I never believed in a million years that I would be able to do. A year ago I would have laughed in your face if you told me I could fit into a dress or shorts that had an 8 on the label. This month I’m going to work my butt off until I lose an amount that I am happy and then work even harder to surpass that goal!
Justin has just amazed me this entire month. I can’t even begin to describe how it makes me feel to see him truly happy with himself as well as carry around a new level of confidence. I have always known that he was handsome and loved him no matter what, but I think that he is finally starting to realize that on some level as well. He walks around with a smile on his face and holds his head high, and, to me, that makes this whole journey worth it (no matter how hard it has been at times). His transformation from the beginning to now is phenomenal, but, even in this past month, there are so many differences. He has been eating a bit more calories in order to gain muscle as well as lose weight, and you can definitely see the muscle especially in the arms. He also went down another shirt size this month! One woman told him the other day that I was going to have to put a leash on him with how he is looking now. He is on such a roll, and I know that he is unstoppable (as he is with anything that he puts effort into). He should reach his weight loss goal in the next couple of months!
An exciting thing happened. We were on the news! On WVLT we met with Chef Walter for his Food City Kitchen cooking segment, and he showed everyone how to cook Justin’s healthy chili recipe. We edited it a little bit for others because hardly anyone but us would want to add water into their chili instead of a stock or broth and etc. He is such a genuinely honest and nice guy to be around. Next, we did a recorded interview for WVLT which aired 3 or 4 times overall! Here is a link to the cooking segment: http://www.local8now.com/features/chefwalter. Here is a link to the interview: http://www.local8now.com/home/
Our diet and exercise didn’t change really from last month. The PA didn’t really have any advice for us this time around. She said to come back and visit with her in 2 months. We will be taking her advice and eating out sometime this month and may even have a “cheat” meal. Will it be a burger, fries, taco, or cake? Who knows. Although, I am still going to have a cupcake once a month regardless. Justin and I are also going on vacation next month and will be riding an airplane and going to a huge amusement park. We will not only be able to buckle our seat belts but also ride everything in the entire park! We could not be more excited! He and I will also eat out at a seafood restaurant one night which will be nice. Now that we are so close to our goals, the PA told us that it is time to treat ourselves once a month to eating out, and if we want to have a little something bad every now and then, then go for it!
Justin and I will be participating in a charity event or two in the near future as well. One will be walking and the other running. We are looking forward to being a part of these because it was something we could not do in the past!
Something else happened with Justin and I this month. Our attitudes and personalities have changed. They were gradually doing so anyways, but it’s like we have finally realized that our outlook on life in general has completely changed. We don’t feel scared or nervous to try new things and don’t want to say no to (almost) anything! Even though I am struggling with my self-image, I still have this new positive perception of our new lives. It feels as though we have been given a second chance, and we want to take full advantage of it this time around! We don’t want to miss out or have any regrets. He and I keep adding things to the list that we want to do and try which is fun and so exciting for the both of us!
In conclusion, he and I are still on the right path. I may be feeling self-conscious but am still glad to be a part of this new life and would never go back to how I used to be. Justin is such an amazing husband and person that inspires me every day to just keep going despite the hardships. He has continued to do well, and I have no doubt that he will continue to do so. This month is anew, and both of us hope to keep up the great work so that we can be done with weight loss in a couple of months. The next phase is maintenance and muscle gain which will allow us to eat more while still maintaining our same level of exercise. Finally, I apologize for not having that many posts recently. It has been so hectic around here, but I will try to post more often this month. It’s also about time for a new recipe or 2. See ya soon! Below are some recent pictures.